Home ARCHIVES Jokes :

Jokes :

378
  1. Do you know how to recognize a man when he is going to say something intelligent?
    His sentence begins with “My wife told me that …”
    ____________________________A man knocks at his neighbor’s door.
    The neighbor answers:
    – Yes ?
    – Hello, I come to see you because your dog has bitten my mother-in-law twice!
    – Oh no! You’re not serious! I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. It is not usually bad. Do you want to be compensated?
    – I do not want to be compensated. I want to buy your dog!

    ______________________________________

    3. A woman arrives in the kitchen and sees her husband with a fly squirt …
    – What are you doing?
    He answers:
    – I’m chasing flies …
    “Did you kill them?”
    – Yes, 3 males, 2 females
    Intrigued, she asks him:
    – How do you differentiate between females and males?
    He answers:
    – 3 were on the can of beer, 2 on the phone.
    ________________________________________
    4. A guy walks down the street and sees, hanging on the front door of a garden a sign: WARNING WICKED PARROT! And a little farther in the garden, he sees the parrot in question on a perch. Our bold fellow laughs at seeing the bird tied to its perch. Deciding to tempt the devil, he crosses the barrier and enters the garden.
    Suddenly, the parrot starts shouting: “REX, ATTACK!!!” (Addressing the dog of the house)
    _________________________________________________
    5. A conversation between the schoolmistress and Toto:
    “Madam, madam, can I be punished for something I have not done?”
    “But of course not Toto, we’re not going to punish you for something you did not do.”
    “Well, it’s okay … I did not do my homework yesterday!”